


Kravitz Meets The Dad(or, Kravitz Makes Assumptions And Is A Fool)

by angelfrog (gaywizard)



Series: you are my dad(you're my dad) boogie woogie woogie [2]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alcohol, Dad'nport, M/M, Miscommunication, implied davenport/merle but its only barely there, ive reread this one a few times(editing n shit) and laughed every time. enjoy, like two lines probably, this is indescribably self-indulgent, uh. i dont know what to tag this as.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:06:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25546390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaywizard/pseuds/angelfrog
Summary: kravitz is very anxious and tbh? me too."Darling. Darling, what if he doesn't like me," Kravitz said, eyes wide. His hands were clutched together in front of his chest, not unlike a suspicious widow claimed her husband's death was an accident, and Taako took one look at him before snorting."You'll be fine. Dad'nport's chill.""He's basically your dad." Kravitz sounded more urgent, wringing his hands together faster.
Relationships: Davenport & Kravitz (The Adventure Zone), Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone)
Series: you are my dad(you're my dad) boogie woogie woogie [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1851136
Comments: 9
Kudos: 97





	Kravitz Meets The Dad(or, Kravitz Makes Assumptions And Is A Fool)

Five weeks after the Day of Story and Song, Kravitz was standing just inside the door of his astral-apartment and nervously straightening a bowtie. That, alone, would have made Taako laugh- the fact that the bowtie was covered in tiny little skulls would’ve reduced him to tears. 

Kravitz took one last glance in the decorative mirror hanging on his wall, deeply appreciative of the fact that the dead don’t sweat, and scythed himself a portal. He stepped out onto the deck of a ship, anchored at the end of a pier. 

Kravitz gulped, nervously tugged at the bowtie, and went to knock on the captain's door. 

\--

Three weeks after the Day of Story and Song, Davenport had sent Kravitz a letter. It was not a strongly worded letter, or a rude one, or anything that Kravitz could actually _deal_ with- it was a very formal and very polite request to meet him in two weeks time. 

Kravitz spent those two weeks panicking quietly.

\--

He raised his concerns with Taako one night. 

"Darling. Darling, what if he doesn't _like_ me," Kravitz said, eyes wide. His hands were clutched together in front of his chest, not unlike a suspicious widow claimed her husband's death was an accident, and Taako took one look at him before snorting.

"You'll be fine. Dad'nport's chill."

" _He's basically your dad._ " Kravitz sounded more urgent, wringing his hands together faster. 

Taako stood up from the lush sofa he had been draped on with a sigh, wrapping his hands gently over Kravitz white knuckles. 

"Babe. It'll be fine, and that's a Taako™ Brand™ guarantee. And," Taako said, right as Kravitz opened his mouth to interrupt, "I'm not coming with you. Lup and I are house-shopping that day." 

Kravitz closed his mouth slowly, and looked down at Taako's hands. He carefully loosened his nervous grip on his own hands and intertwined his fingers with Taako. 

"Okay. If you say so, love." Kravitz sighed, tipping forward slightly. Taako wrapped him in a hug, snickering. 

"And if he isn't nice, you're _literally_ the grim reaper. C'mon, death himself intimidated by a gnome?" Taako giggled into Kravitz's shoulder.

Kravitz huffed, and did not respond, only hugged Taako closer.

\--

Davenport opened the door with a polite smile. He looked considerably happier and scruffier than the last time Kravitz had seen him, but he took the bottle of wine Kravitz held out with a nod. 

"Is this any good?" He asked, stepping back to let Kravitz in. 

Kravitz nodded.

"I, uh, I think so. It's a nicer vintage, pairs well with a lot of things," Kravitz said. His voice was distant as he glanced around the cabin with curiosity. There was a desk with a series of shelves above it, several empty but others with souvenirs from his travels around the continent and planar system. A snow globe, a stuffed lizard maybe(it was a chameleon, not that Kravitz had seen one before). 

Davenport took a second to read the label, letting Kravitz look around. He was still relishing the fact that he could read things, and that they didn't dissolve into static within minutes. 

He set the bottle down with a clink, making Kravitz jump slightly. He was looking at the carved relief work(Magnus.) around the upper edge of the cabin, and had nearly forgotten why he had been having a two-week long anxiety fun-fest. He turned to look at the Captain, a solid several feet shorter than him and a solid several acres more intimidating. 

Davenport folded his hands behind his back, spine ramrod straight. 

"Do you know why I invited you here?" He asked, sounding less imperious and more curious. 

Kravitz, literal death, emissary of the Raven Queen, has not needed to breath in several hundred years, made a gasping-gulping noise and stuttered. 

"My, uh, my intentions with Taako- I don't know if you heard about Sazed, but, uh, I'm- I don't want to do that. I love him, see," He was slipping into Cockney, dammit. Fuck. What an impression he was making, "And I'd really not hurt him and if you think he'd be better off without me that's fine but I disagree and I-" 

Davenport stared at him while Kravitz stuttered, rambled, and waved his hands nonsensically. He was drifting between at least three accents, voice getting higher pitched occasionally. 

Dav let him talk until he had to catch his breath before bursting into laughter. 

Kravitz froze and stared at him as the gnome absolutely _lost his shit._

"Um." 

Davenport wheezed, wiping a tear from his eye and leaned against the wall. His tail thumped against the wood panelling a few times in hysteria, before Davenport finally caught his breath. 

"Oh, Taako told me you were- but I didn't expect-" He snorted again. "You're worse than Barry." 

Kravitz, were he not a good ole' deadboy, would be blushing like a schoolgirl. 

"I, uh, I. Was this not." 

"Jesus, Kravitz. I invited you over to drink alcohol and talk about what's gonna happen after my crew, all of which have _death_ bounties, from what I've been told, die. But I'm glad you got that off your chest." Davenport snickered. Kravitz nodded a few times, processing, before he wiped a hand over his face and stared off into the middle distance. 

"Taako's never going to let this go." 

"Oh, absolutely not. Just be glad Merle wasn't here, he'd recite your whole speech as wedding vows." 

Kravitz was very, _very_ glad he didn't have moving blood. 

"What were you saying about alcohol?" He finally said, turning to look at Davenport. Davenport, to his credit, didn't look like he was about to collapse onto the ground from laughter anymore. He did have a shit-eating grin, but Kravitz would take what he could get.

\--

They drank the bottle of wine Kravitz brought, one that Dav had from a distant coast, and several assorted drinks that Davenport apparently knew how to make. By the time Kravitz, corpse-wrangler supreme, was well and truly drunk, he had gone through at least five accent changes and an accordion solo. 

No, he didn't know where the accordion came from. 

Davenport laughed, loud and open, slinging back the whiskey-something in his hand and setting the glass down. 

"It's been very nice talking with you, Kravitz." His voice was maybe a tiny bit hesitant, but that was only because he was making an effort not to stutter. "Unfortunately, I, uh, do need to set sail tomorrow, so unless you want to try and scythe home hungover..." 

Kravitz huffed, but heaved himself to his feet nonetheless. 

"I'm not sure doing this drunk is the better option, but what'ver." He closed his eyes for a second, holding his hand out with a frown of near comical focus. It appeared in his hand, and he looked at it like he didn't expect that to work. 

He swiped it through the air, taking _great_ care not to hit anything, and stepped through the rift. He waved goodbye, his hand lingering a second before following him through the portal. 

\--

"The hell are you doing in my house?" Merle said incredulously, looking up from his poinsettias to stare at Kravitz.

Kravitz, who was staring at him in equal surprise and swaying on his feet slightly.

"Uh." He paused for a long moment. "I missed. Bye." 

He swiped his scythe again, and stepped through the new rift. 

Merle sat for a long moment, blinking at the empty space where the very drunk grim reaper once stood. He sighed, and returned to flirting with his plants.

\-- 

Taako was expecting Kravitz to be there at some point, certainly, but he wasn't expecting a horizontal portal to open above his bed and Kravitz to plummet through. He landed with a _whoof_ , and laid still. 

Taako set his book down at stared at him.

"How's Dad'nport, then?" He finally asked. Kravitz moved, but only to flash him a thumbs up, before mumbling something into the pillow. "You good?"

"M'gonna sleep. Nighty night," Kravitz said, eventually, rolling onto his side and wrapping himself around Taako. Taako stared at him in bemusement. 

"Uh huh. Night, sweetheart."

\--

Kravitz had a horrible headache the next morning, and he couldn't really remember anything aside from the fact that he maybe said something dumb and he maybe played. An instrument of some sort. 

He didn't actually want to know what he'd been up to last night, thinking about it. 

It was fine.

Probably.

**Author's Note:**

> hey yk how in the first dad'nport i mentioned kravitz talking abt his intentions with taako and dav laughing about it ? yeah  
> 1\. chameleons dont exist on faerun anymore i dont make the rules  
> 2\. the stuffed one davenport has is based on my chameleon beanie baby who i had on my chest while writing this  
> 2.5(anxiety whomst i only know rainbow the beanie baby)  
> 3\. look up the rainbow chameleon beanie baby. thats him and i love him  
> 4\. might write a companion of lup&taako shopping for houses ?
> 
> :3 anyway lemme know ur thoughts+opinions n shit. my tumblr is @honeybee-frog i post 90% taz balance come say hi


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